Moody xtau nape

Ntah la. Bile balik jejalan ni, macam2 bende buat ak runsing. Jumaat pagi tu, tengok bilik ak sepah macam kandang lembu, slipa xde, makanan xde, pot nasi xde, lapa pun xde bende nak makan. Wei, susah tul ar hidup sengsorang kat sini. Dapur umah aku sepah macam apa. Lepas tu ak berangin kejap. Ok, jam dah pukul 130, kalau ak bertolak nk gi Masjid skg sempat. Ops, lupa, basikal ak kene curi. Bodo btul ar.. Last2 x pg smayang Jumaat. Duduk dalam bilik menahan marah.

Akhirnye lps minum kopi, lega sket pala. Ak start kemas bilek and umah. Pastu Liyana mesej, sruh ak habiskan lauk smalam. Lega. Settle masalah lapar. Pastu Nad dtg bilik, bagi ak bende2 nak masak sbb dia dah nak blk Malaysia. Fuyoo, macam berjanji la pulak. Seriously, I was very thankful.

And then masa tulis post ni tetiba lak Qilah YM ak. Dia dapat tawaran masuk FH Offenburg. E-Technik. Ok la tu. Ad peneman and tempat ak boleh luahkan kegilaan aku yang terpendam. Hihihi. Best gak ada kawan rapat cam Cik Qila duduk dekat2. Xla bosan hidup kat cnie. Ad tempat gelak ketawa and berkongsi cerita.

Ntah ar. Kepala ak tgh berpusing macam roller coaster. So, biar ak rehat jap, lepak2 and just bring myself together again.

Seminggu selepas exam

Ok, exam dah habis. Lega ar sket. Xde bende nk risau dah. Lama2, ad satu bende yang dirisaukan: Masa yang terluang.

So, Khamis, pagi2, ak nek beskal pi Freiburg, dari pukul 8 pagi. Pastu balik dr Freiburg ke Offenburg dgn train dalam kul 9 malam. Letih sket, tapi pertukaran warna kulit tu agak dasyat. Pastu jumaat, Pat n Liyana termasuk aku kene buat BBQ. Mengajak orang, beli barang smua, potong2, tp last2 kene buat gak kat dalam umah senior sbb hujan. Tp, smua ok je, so ok la. Tgk movie, borak2 sampai lewat malam. Pastu Sabtu, pagi2 duk borak2 dgn membe2 ak yg bermalam kat OG. Petang tu pi Aiskrim, malam tu masak lg. Sabtu malam, ak dah terlampau pancit, tidur la awal. Ahad pagi borak lagi, pastu tgh hari bertolak nk pi Ulm.

Padahal x pi pun Ulm. Cuma singgah je. Sopi ajak pi Aalen, di mana ak tau akhirnye sebab ak famous kat sana (hampeh btul). Duk men PS. Pastu pg Biberach, jumpa Shiva ngan Flip yg masa tu di ambang pekse. Walau camne pun, kami masih diberi layanan best. Thx. Pastu pi Weingarten, lepak 2 hari,men go cart, Xbox, pastu khamis balik.

Khamis tu ak rasa was one of my worse days. Semua bende x terjadi seperti yg sepatutnye. Duk dalam train sepanjang perjalanan senyap je. So agak bosan. Selipa kene amek ngan pakcik kutip sampah. Pastu benti kat Stuttgart, kene tunggu sejam plak. Duduk kat Bahnhof, senyap lagi selama sejam. Pastu bile sampai Karlsruhe, ada cuaca buruk dari Karlsruhe nak pg Offenburg. So, train yg ak sepatutnye naik, cancel. Tunggu lagi sejam. Time tu, membe ak dah blk, so ak jalan la pusing kawasan zoo dpn Bahnhof. Pastu bile nek train yg next, memang macam sardin. Argh, tensi tul. Dgn budak sekolahnye yg memekak, babynye yg menangis. Pastu sampai OG, ingat bole nek bas nk pi umah. Tgk2, ak baru miss bus tu. So jalan la. Dgn beg2 yg beratnye..

Tp lepas tu ok la. Masa jalan terserempak dgn Hasan, pastu terserempak lagi dgn dak OG yg len. Ajak pi aiskrim. Ak rasa memang lega jumpa balik OG. Rasa satu ketenangan luar biasa bile nampak Bahnhof ak. Home sweet home, I said to myself. Pastu malam tu ada makan2. Thanx amiaq. Tp, malam tu dah memang nak pengsan, so ak blk awal, tido sampai kul 1115 pagi.

Anyway, bestnye lpk dgn membe2 lama ni, dpt muhasabah diri. By the way, thanx guys melayan kami. Really appreciate it. Blk dari trip ni, byk bende ak tambah dalam resolusi perubahan aku. So, ak harap sgt ak dpt jadik insan yang memang bahagia walau ap2 pun yg terjadi.

Coffee Maschine baru..

Guna Melayu ar plak.

Semalam, housemate-housemate aku balik dengan satu mesin baru dengan deorg. Mesin kopi, tapi lagi mantap dari mesin kopi aku. 'Coffee pad machine'. Lps tu malam tu ak tgh masak, deorg ajar aku camne nak gune. Bapak best gila. So ak try la buat pagi esoknye - Fulamak.. Kopi standard restaurant. Xya nk pi kedai beli kopi 1,50€ semata-mata nak rasa kopi sedap.

By the way, hari ni last day exam and ak ditrap dalam satu dilema.. Nak balik Malaysia ke tak. Fikir-fikir balik, lama tuu cuti. 2 bulan. Kalau ak mintak keje hari tu (menesal plak x mintak), dapatlah at least 700€ nak buat enjoy-enjoy. Kalau 2 bulan, dapat paling kurang 1400€. Banyak tu. Budak2 asing kat tempat aku smua crite pasal keje deorg summer ni. Waa, best jugak sbenarnye. 1 jam 8€, kalau ak OT smua, pastu rajin2 sket, tau amek hati boss, mesti best gak ar.

So back to the topic of balik Malaysia. Nk balik ke x? Semalam mak ak kol.. dia bagi cadangan suruh balik. Tp fikir-fikir balik: Sebab ak x set aside budget untuk balik, klau ak balik, susah ar ak time sem bukak. Duit kering. Cuba tgk:

Sewa rumah utk 2 bulan + bill = 650€

Bayar untuk forward gaji = 500€

Tiket MAS (klau balek) = 860€

Pastu, klau balik Malysia, mesti nak bawak duit sket. Ok fine. So kesimpulannye, klau ak balik German balik, duit ak time sem nak bukak serius x cukup nk sara hidup untuk sebulan lagi. Lagipun time summer ni tujuan utama ak, nak pergi Paris.. Nak tgk Bastille, Versaille, tgk tempat Revolusi Perancis. Akhirnye daripada asyik bace je, akhirnye kerajaan Malaysia bagi aku peluang merasa apa yang dibaca.

Tapi klau ak balik, dapat elak puasa panjang, dapat rasa ikan kukus mak ak masak, dapat peluk orang yang ak memang sukee peluk. Tiap-tiap hari peluk, pagi petang siang malam.. (adik ak le),. Tp yang tak bestnye time balik kampung. Kang dgn satu kampung kena soal siasat pasal hidup aku kat sini. Pastu mula ar org2 kampung ni start bagi ceramah agama kat ak yg kalau skejap je memang best dengar, tapi klau lama sangat, rasa nak tido je. Klau ak balik pun, lagi pressure sepupu ak tu. Ak cucu yg Alhamdlillah dah sampai jauh, dia cucu yg ad masalah sket dgn masa depan. So, susah ar. Orang2 kampung ni pun satu. Suka duduk banding-banding.

Lagipun, ak paham, sbg remaja, hormone pun bercelaru. Semua nak melawan. So, klau ak balik tahun depan, hopefully keadaan dah sabil, dia pun dah OK, pastu ak boleh balik Malaysia tanpa rasa bersalah. Muahahaha..

So, elok gak ak tulis blog ni. Ak pun tetiba dah buat keputusan. Xnak ar balik. Tahun depan je ar. Simpan crite dua tahun, so boleh crite ngan mak ayah aku banyak sket.

So, yg cuba pujuk ak srh balik tu, sori guys. Decision made. Huahuahauha..

Deutschkurs, Europe, here I come baby..

Himpunan Mahasiwa Bersama: An example of idealistic extremism

Another plain example of ignorance and stupidity. This so called Perhimpunan Mahasiswa Bersama. Just imagine if a foreigner wiould have stumbled upon this barbaric riot, how much polluted will be the name of my beloved country. People will tend to compare Malaysia with the ethnic conflicts in China and the political turmoil in Thailand and say: O.. I think Malaysia is at par..

That's what pisses me off seeing people doing demonstrations. Its a waste of time, money and manpower. You'd think the government will respond? Well, it seems that in the past few days, the Government has taken a stance to uphold the national language again in governmet schools, but is it due ti this pointless protest. If I were to be someone at the top, I would just see the protest at the corner of my eye and just say 'how dumb..'.

As a matter of fact, I am neither pro Government nor pro Opposition. I'm just somebody pro to what I think is logic and practical. Well, there are some BN policies that I don't agree with and there are also some Oppositon policies I too have a hard time to comprehend. But this post is not about politics. It'ss about sanity and being practical.

Last year, there was a protest by the GPMS (Gabungan Pelajar Melayu Semenanjung) against the intake of 20% non-bumis in UITM. Well, to tell you the truth, during the protest, I was actually an active member of the GPMS, using it as a platform to spread my ideals. But, seeing as how babyish they were in deciding to organise that protest, I decided that GPMS was not so to my liking. It wasn't that free from UMNO politics for that protest was pointed toward the current Opposition MB of Selangor. For me, all protests have a foul stench of dirty politics puppeting the crowd. Including this one.

So that is why, I would not be shocked if this Perhimpunan Mahasiswa bersama is politically motivated. And students, who are subsidised by the government to study, end up wasting their time doing nonsense. For me, an ideal student is a student that not only learns, but also uses his or her new found knowledge and charisma to serve tha society around him. In contrast, an unworthy student will use his free time to do useless things, and how much more for things which have practically negative effects to the society.

Back to this Perhimpunan. (See MalaysiaKini for a full 10 minute view), you can notice these people blocking the road, delaying important appointments and deliveries, slowing down the pace of modernism, just to demonstrate. Roads get blocked, the serenity of the ever peaceul Kuala Lumpur gets destroyed by people shouting. Well, if i were the government, I wouldn't have the slight feeling of sympathy for demonstrators beiing shot by tear gas. Well, they are disturbing my country. You xpect me to have sympathy.. Not..

And another fact, they were shouting the Takbir.. (Allahuakbar) in the streets in rage and agony. To my understanding, (please correct me), the Takbir is not only used to praise Allah (Allah is great), but is used to increase morale when facing an enemy. So who is the enemy? Policy makers? The government? For me it's a disgrace to God when one shouts Allahuakbar in a state of anger and rage. And in the video, you can see people with Kopiah's, long head scarves, dressing as foretold by the Sunnah, commiting uncivilized acts on the streets. and at the same time shouting the Takbir.

Let me define extremism: An act in which someone suffices, when he or she thinks he is doing a good thing, but in fact is doing it too much that it becomes pointless, bringing shame to what he or she is initially fighting for. Based on this definition, what we see in this video is extremism..

Like many people say, not to high not to low.. The middle is OK..

Ak cinta..

Cinta Illahi, cinta keluarga, cinta sesama manusia, cinta ngan haiwan dan cinta dgn diri sendiri..

Semua ni cinta. CInta bukan takat cinta laki bini atau cintan cintun dgn awek atau pakwe. Cinta bende yg menyelamatkan sorang drpd buat bende yg bukan2. Tapi kadang2 cinta tu membutakan, so apa tu cinta?

Haha. Mungkin ada orang tertanya-tanya, kenapa ak ni tetiba jiwang plak? Xde pun. Dah lame dah terfikir, tp duduk simpan je dlm hati. One way or another, kene gak ak luahkan pendapat ak tentang cinta.

Ad sesetengah kes, kahwin takat nak tunaikan tanggungjwab, bukan cinta. Sebab kene desak keluarga and masyarakat. So lama2, rasa kosong. Balik ke bini atau suami, xde feel. Bosan rasanye hidup. Tengok bini atau suami, bosan. 'Asyik muka sama je'. Last-last, anak2 pun tak tau apa maksud cinta, sebab tak pernah tgk mak bapak tunjuk cinta deorg pada satu sama lain. So deorg ingat cinta tu, sex sebab pengaruh media. Last-last, rosak generasi muda. Finally, chain reaction ni goes on and on, sampailah manusia pupus.

So, inilah yg berlaku pada masyarakat kat kampung halaman aku. Cerai berai, gaduh-gaduh, pukul-pukul, curang-curang. Punca dia, maybe sebab, masa nk kahwin, kene paksa famili. Cinta xde. Atau punca lain, sebab masa muda2, syok sangat bercinta sebelum kahwin. Bila dah kahwin, dah x rasa syok dah. So, last2, cerai. Betapa bodoh.

Ok, pasal cerai. Budak2 zaman skrg, dah pandai buat pasal cerai, sebab dah sebati dgn budaya masyarakat deorg. Lepas tu, bila Ustaz2 ajar pasal kahwin and cerai, boleh buat lawak lagi pasal bab cerai. So, for me, bende ni bodoh. Bapak ak, dari kecik didik ak ngan abang ak.. Jangan main2 dengan cerai. Ni kata2 dia;

'You'd be better of cutting your own dick, rather than divorcing your wife.' Bagi dia, cerai tu maksudnye membuang kelakian seorang laki, sebab tindas pempuan. Mak ak pun setuju. Takat ni, dah beribu-ribu kali mak ak nasihat aku: Pilih bini betul2. Sbb bini ni sampai mati.

So, kembali kepada cinta:

Yang ak explain kat atas td, cinta suami bini. Kalau cinta sesama manusia pulak. Macamana?

Bagi aku, cinta sesama manusia menghalang kita daripada memudharatkan manusia lain. Cinta pada manusia menyatu masyarakat, dan cinta pada manusia membawa 1001 kebaikan dan 0 keburukan. Cinta kat boss, cinta dgn membe, cinta dgn orang bawah, cinta dengan orang yg kita x kenal pun. Cinta tetap cinta. Bila semua orang 'embrace' cinta ni, xde lagi gaduh-gaduh, xde lagi bunuh2, rogol2, tindas2, buruk sangka, dengki2. Semua orang akan berusaha berbakti kepada satu sama lain without prejudice.

Bila semua orang mencinta, betapa indahnye dunia ciptaan Tuhan. Tapi masalahnye, bile orang cakap pasal cinta, orang campur definisi cinta dengan definisi nafsu. Sesetengah orang cakap, cinta tu x elok. Bahaya. Cinta kat Tuhan je yg elok, and sesetengah lagi cakap, cinta tu bukan cinta kalau xde sex. Orang2 putih kata, love must be passionate. No passion, no love. Tu lah contoh percanggahan pendapat antara extrem yg terlampau, dengan kejahilan yang terlampau.

So, tu put it short, cinta tu BUKAN nafsu, tapi anugerah. Nafsu yg bagi nama buruk kat cinta, tp cinta itu membawa kesucian yg dapat melunakkan besi, menghancurkan batu, membankgitkan mati dan buat budak jadi pemimpin. Cinta sesama manusia yg berlandaskan cinta kepad Tuhan ialah cinta yg suci laksana titisan embun yg turun dari langit. Air mata yg dititiskan sebab cinta, dapat melembutkan hati yg sekeras-keras batu. Melalui cinta, seseorang itu dapat mengetahui, betapa indahnya ciptaan Yang Illahi.

Cuba tgk tokoh2 kita. Contohnya Tun Mahathir. Tun Hasmah berada di sampingnya sentiasa sampailah dia jd pemimpin yg antara paling best kat Malaysia. Kerana kekuatan yg Tun Hasmah bagi kat dia, di samping keazaman diri sendiri, dia menggunakan kuasa cinta laki bini, untuk menuju ke puncak kejayaan.

So, cintalah orang lain sebagaimana korang cinta diri korang sendiri..

To be continued..

Ragam manusia..

In other words; The idiosyncracies of mankind

One of the idiosyncracies of mankind. Jealousy. So long have I been a victim of situations where people get resented due to what I get. That's the fact of this world. You just sit in your room, being yourself, doing nothing, and yet people, for no apparent reason get very defensive towards you. This plaque of stupidity has haunted me eversince I was small, and will always haunt everybody whose luck is just slightly better than a few others.

When I'm silent, people ask why am I like so, when I talk people hate it, aso what to do. I just be myself, and the more people hate it. And when I pretend, they become angels by offering me blissfull advice, telling me to become myself. Such wondorous hypocracy.

Such is the art of living, such is the evil of men, and such is the world we are living in. Life always puts one in a stalemate situation. So to say, the vision I have envisioned and have so far aimed to be planted in the hearts of mankind is SINCERE tolerance, and a piece of mind.

Like my father always says to me; 'At the end of the day, it all comes down to you.' Words which I stubbornly rejected, but in the end found out that it had a true and deep meaning in life. By the way, last night, I dreamt of standing up against my father, and ion the end getting scolded like hell. Thank God it was a dream.

So there are also a few group of people who likes to judge. People, who in my opinion feel so insecure about themselves and choose to feel superior by judging people without deep thought, and at the end of the day saying that they themselves are the most perfect beings created by God. Hahaha. How tremendously doof. Certain Eigenschaften they have;

1. Always find fault in the mistakes of others.

2. Makes a big deal of the mistakes done by others.

3. Have a ridiculous tendency to judge people by emotions

4. Have an overwhelming tendency for finding support.

And if they find support, they choose to hold on to that support, eventhough that support just chooses not to be held onto anymore.

So please, gimme a break.