Deutschland: Land of Ideals and Ideas

Gleefully I am sitting in my room and at the same time having a slight feeling of grief. Well, let's be positive and start with what is gleaming me.

My first presentation in front of circa 60 people, all in German. This is one of the most devastating and shall i say one of the most memorable incidents in my life. My group was consisted of a negro and a turkish. The other two which was a Tunisian and a half blood Turkish pulled away because there were just to many heads for one simple mechanical problem in Mechanics 1.
Working with people from other countries really changed the way how i saw people. Once, I always had the bad habit to genaralize and judge one based on his colour and race, but now, so to say, people will always remain people despite of who they are. A few days ago, I went out a few German friends, yesterday I accidentally met Hussam (the half blood Turkish) in a fast food outlet, and we had lunch together, talking about things which just came to mind.

A good German friend of mine by the name of Christuf, is for me by far the most friendliest and open minded person I've ever met since my arrival in Germany. We exchanged information about our countries, and argued a fewopinions which we had about the so called liberalism and religion. His ideas were far different than mine and his perception and my peception about the world is entirely different. Arguing with him, did not even make me feel offended whatsoever, because what both of us had was openness and understanding of each other's viewpoint.

My Mitbewohner (housemate) was also a fruitful guy to talk with. All three of them were party animals, but each of them wise in their own way. One of them, Chris, had a very vast viewpoint about libaralism and religion and once said to me that before he wants to declare himself as a follower of a religion, he wants to study each of the choices he has and come to a conclusion when he is wise enough. Of course, he asked about certain things in Islam (all in 100% German Language) and it took me quite a while nad tremendous patience to explain to him. Of course, there were a few queestions that i myself could not answer so I choose to say 'Es ist zwar kompleks. Bitte gib mir Zeit zum researchieren'. (It's quite complicated. Please give me time to research based on ur Question). The art of escaping from looming questions so to say.

For me, Germany is a place to strengthen and furthermore build up my ideals. That was why, I liked to talk to people who tals about things which are useful and talk about facts. It's quite a blessing to know what they really think, their viewpoint on a certain issue, and the manner in which they use to think. That was one of the reasons why I choose not to mingle around with a group in the FH called the International Students. Well, I myself am an international Student, but, I have my own opinion about them. That I would not like to share, for their conversation is not fruitful.

What's causing me grief by far is the fact that a certain person I admire isn't able to come to Germany in June because of Swine flu. Stupid pigs!! But it's ok. Things happen for a reason don't they?

One of the best shows: Into the wild

Last night, I stayed up to watch a film called Into The Wild. Themost heartwarming, full with philosophy and the most touching show ever. It's about a young man, who was so bored about life and chooses to segrgate himself from civilization after graduation. In shan't tell you the ending though but Irecommend all of you to watch it.

I can only tell you one part of the ending. After living for so long from his family and friends alone, prior to his death, he made a conclusion; true happiness can only be found by sharing. (Or something like that). To be honest, this and countless other words his sister narrated really had a deep effect and changed my outlook of how I saw the world.

It was indeed true, that it was like we were living in a world governed by rules that just seperated us by the true nature of being a man. The so called push for us to suceed and have a place in life, and in doing so creates depression, stress and temporary happiness just sometimesis too much

People who have not enough money to come by just end up being trampled by people who are luckier than them, people who are born less smart, end up being workers to people who are smarter, people who are less strong and less confident just end up being a so called dimwit by others who have things morethan them. That my friends, is the creepy way this world works and I myself don't agree with the current facts.

For your information, Iam neither communist nor socialist. I am just a person who pities both others and people who are unluckier than me. Ok, I am receiving a high scholarship because of my so called smartness, but in Malaysia or a contradictory example, Africa, many people live lives with financial difficulties, inability for education, lack of even the simplest things in life, just because they have intellectual inabilities, or their country are just politically incompetent. People remain people. They have their own strenghts and uniqueness, but now, because of intellect, the so called 'people whose talent is not in the intellectual field' become the black sheeps of society. Another stupid fact. And here we are, relentlessly enjoying our lives in an foreign land, gnawing of our countries treasury to fulfill our own pettiless endulgement which in my case doesn't last.

Hypocracy exists in all of us, but what differs us from each other is the level of hypocracy we have. Double standardness is one thing, but people with a ridiculously high level of hypocracy, will become people who just ,make the world die faster. people. I myself am a hypocrite, but I hope that my hypocracy doesn't kill or hurt others.

My blog has leaked

I never knew that word of my blog has leaked out. So, basically, I am now an official blogger. Wow.. what a shock. But it's ok.. It looks like I must now get facts straight on my blog..

Wow.. what a heftig week. It seems that time is passing very fast for the Klausur is already closeby. Exam gitters are up and my mood now is swaying violently like the violent winds during autumn.

Lately, I just rearranged my furniture in my room leaving a big space at the entrance. Perhaps I will buy a bean bag in Ikea and lay it in the centre making my room feel like my own sttronghold to find comfort and peace.

I also received a few personal comments but I shan't say all of them. My friend, by the name of Flip (who always jokefully labels me as someone not havng any friends whatsoever) once commented that I must live for my own. Thanks Flip for being the first to comment. I appreciate his words for it has a very significant and deep meaning and I will keep it in my heart.

Perhaps living for my own is ok, having it's own pro's and con's. Perhaps his words are right because perhaps all this while, I have been lying to myself. So, I think I shan't brag because it bores others somehow.. so lets jump to another topic.

TOmorrow by the way, my classmate Christuf and a few of his Freiburger friends will take me out for a trip of enjoyment in Freiburg. Hope that I enjoy their company. Thank God there exists a few understanding people like Christuf who still chooses to get acquainted with me despite of my language difficulty.

People and conflicts

We live in a world filled with humans of all shapes and sizes. We make ourselves fight each other, we insult each other, we stab each other and we quarell just to prove that we are correct.

Is it right to do this?

I'm saying this because of a crtain event that is now leaving a very bad taste n my mouth. Ok.. ok.. I shan't brag about my life cause it will just bore you out, but to put it simply, I am under fire by two sides just because I choose to remain neutral in a conflict. I have promised to myself not to take sides anymore in life in light of my past bad experience with my family. But now, the fucking same thing that happened to me in 2004 is happening within my circle of friends. What the fuck!!

By the way, sorry for the language, for my soul is now not at rest. To put it in a simple manner, I just want to grow up and let childish people remain children, while I get out and become a wise adult.

So day by day, people give me problems. People who are just so insecure of themselves, finally take the stance to push me away from any new contacts they have made. People who gets so territorial and wants everything in the house to run what they perceive as perfect, people with a ridiculously egoistic nature and people who just know how to take but not to give.

Seriously, I just wish that none of these minor and stupid problems bother me, but I can't control it.. Well that's me..

And for me, the word I hate the most coming out of someone's mouth is:

'Hadri.. relax ar'

or

'Hadri cool sket'

These two words pisses me off like shit. So for me, if anybody comes to me and say these words, I would feel like knocking their heads.