Ingat duduk oversea senang ke? Kepala otak lu

Adoi... aku nak merungut. Lama x merungut. Suka hati la ko nak cakap apa. Ni blog aku, bukan blog bapak ko. Lu nak panggil gue emo, tu hak kau.

Susah tau duduk oversea. Semua orang ingat duduk oversea senang, glamour. Xyah risau apa2 sebab elaun cukup. Fikir nak belajar je. Kepala ho*** kau!!

Dah tiga tahun duduk sini. Otak aku dah penat. Penat piker. Penat menhadap karenah orang. Tambah2 lagi belaja kat jerman ni. Ingat senang? Wak lu!!

Ni aku nak merungut. BUkan nak berlagak. Kalau orang nak cakap aku berlagak suka hati ko la. Tu kepala hotak ko, bukan kepala otak aku.

• Kena belajar ilmu kejuruteraan dalam bahasa asing. Rasa terencat kepala hotak aku kadang2 nak explain benda kat orang. Kadang2 aku faham konsep tu dalam bahasa yang otak aku dah biasa. Pas tu  bila org tanya, memanglah kene terangkan dalam bahasa asing. Aku rasa perlukan 3 kali kupayaan fikir daripada terangkan kat orang dalam bahasa yang kau dah terbiasa. And then bila diskusi, cam cipan. Kadang2 aku bole. Tapi ada sesetengah hari tu, bila dah penat, malas nak fikir, so malas nak bukak mulut. Lepas tu kene paksa. Bila aku melawan cakap ak ni pemalas. Suka hati aku LA!!!
• Kena menghadap budaya yang lain yang ada baik buruknya. Budaya orang sini ada la baik buruk dia. Pasal deorang makan babi, minum arak aku dah x kesah sebab memang dah budaya. Aku nasihat je. Dan tu ak rasa tanggungjawab aku dah selesai. Yang baik, baik jugak. Tapi kadang2 bila baik ni melampau sangat, jadi rimas pulak. Orang sini memang buatkerja yang sangat jitu dan rapi. Xde main cincai2 punya. Tapi kadang2 terlampau rapi sampai kerja x jalan. Lepas tu x kene deadline . Kadang2 dudk gaduh pasal benda remeh. Kalau aku suruh kerja cepat so deadline boleh ikut, atau aku bagi idea yang akan cepatkan kerja tu siket, cakap 'Malaysiantechnik'. Haah, suka hati ko la. 
• Kene bedikari. HUmph.. perkataan ''berdikari'', bunyi senang, tapi sangat susah. Kat sini, klau sakit, ko sakit sorang, klau lapar, kene cari makan sendiri, memang kene survive. Duit, urusan peribadi, masa, semua kene uruskan sendiri. Nak cari makanan bersih, halal. Susah. Lepas tu kalau nak pindah rumah nak nuat practical, nak cari rumah. Dah lah berurusan dengan orang jerman. Dalam bahasa deorang.Dalam masa sama nak kene pastikan markah stabil. Ingat senang? Ketahanan fizikal, mental sengan spritual memang kene kuat. 
• Melayan karenah pengambil kesempatan. Aku rasa di mana2 tempat pasti ada orang jenis macam ni. Ibarat lintah. Sedut darah ko. Especially orang2 arab,turki kat tempat aku belajar. Cakap besar, tapi bila nak exam, baru nak senyum kat aku sebab nak mintak nota. No way fucker!! Sekarang aku memang x kawan sangat dengan orang kawasan timur tengah sebab perangai ni. Lepas tu layan aku, macam aku x reti cakap bahasa Jerman. Sangat ironik. Bahasa jerman deorang lagi mantap, tapi fail 2 3 kali gak. Ibarat orang yang bawak kereta baru 3 kali nak mengajar orang yang dah bawak kereta 10 000 kali. Sebelum semester aku buat practical, ak memang kuat mengalah. Sejak aku buat practical dekat company, aku jadi lagi garang. Xde dah main tapis2. Kalau ada orang nak pijak aku, aku akan pastikan orang tu yang ak akan pijak dengan kekuatan 5 kali ganda. AKu lagi happy buat macam tu. Klau orang tu still x reti bahasa, aku malas layan.
• Dan banyak lagi...

Aku rasa ak benti setakat ni dulu.      

Battlefield

I have my experiences. They teach me a lot, and I choose not to flaunt my strength so that people won't manipulate me for what I have learned based on my experiences.

Life I see it as a battlefield. Sometimes you can push the enemy back with just one shot, and sometimes even if you have the upper hand, the enemy could miraculously push you back if you have a blind spot.

That is how it goes no matter where you are. There is a saying and it goes like this:

' 'The higher you go, the more people would want to pull you down'

And normally people who pull others down are filled with hatred. When they see people succeed them, they say that it is wrong. In Malaysia, political people uses this to influence low and middle income people. They are told that rich people are 'cronies'. But the thing is that, to be one, it takes intellect, steadfast, and wits. It takes a superior level of management and people skills to rise to the top.

Even people born rich lacking these skills will eventually fall.

But this post is not about politics. Its about people. There are people who stab you in the back, people who are not genuinely nice to you. People who smile but at the same time plot your downfall. Even people using sweet words to bring you down. That is human nature that I'm told to accept.

To accept is to see the human race falling down to a spiral of chaos. To simply accept is to see oppression and discrimination happening in every aspect of our lives as a norm. To blindly accept is to see a generation and the generations after it fill with insincerity and hypocrisy. Is this what we want for us? Is this what we want for our children and their children?   

To be honest, I know there are some judging me as being mellow dramatic, emotional and thinking too much. Well, they say that because they only think for themselves. Thinking that their goal in life is to have a steady income, get fucking rich, have a good sex life, and only thinking about themselves and the ones they care about.

I say open your mind, your hearts and souls before slandering others. Look into the mirror and judge yourself before judging others. Just look at each other beyond the borders of race, religion, belief or difference. I am certainly not a pluralist. I only want the world to be more caring, loving and not self centered.