Ingat duduk oversea senang ke? Kepala otak lu

Adoi... aku nak merungut. Lama x merungut. Suka hati la ko nak cakap apa. Ni blog aku, bukan blog bapak ko. Lu nak panggil gue emo, tu hak kau.

Susah tau duduk oversea. Semua orang ingat duduk oversea senang, glamour. Xyah risau apa2 sebab elaun cukup. Fikir nak belajar je. Kepala ho*** kau!!

Dah tiga tahun duduk sini. Otak aku dah penat. Penat piker. Penat menhadap karenah orang. Tambah2 lagi belaja kat jerman ni. Ingat senang? Wak lu!!

Ni aku nak merungut. BUkan nak berlagak. Kalau orang nak cakap aku berlagak suka hati ko la. Tu kepala hotak ko, bukan kepala otak aku.

• Kena belajar ilmu kejuruteraan dalam bahasa asing. Rasa terencat kepala hotak aku kadang2 nak explain benda kat orang. Kadang2 aku faham konsep tu dalam bahasa yang otak aku dah biasa. Pas tu  bila org tanya, memanglah kene terangkan dalam bahasa asing. Aku rasa perlukan 3 kali kupayaan fikir daripada terangkan kat orang dalam bahasa yang kau dah terbiasa. And then bila diskusi, cam cipan. Kadang2 aku bole. Tapi ada sesetengah hari tu, bila dah penat, malas nak fikir, so malas nak bukak mulut. Lepas tu kene paksa. Bila aku melawan cakap ak ni pemalas. Suka hati aku LA!!!
• Kena menghadap budaya yang lain yang ada baik buruknya. Budaya orang sini ada la baik buruk dia. Pasal deorang makan babi, minum arak aku dah x kesah sebab memang dah budaya. Aku nasihat je. Dan tu ak rasa tanggungjawab aku dah selesai. Yang baik, baik jugak. Tapi kadang2 bila baik ni melampau sangat, jadi rimas pulak. Orang sini memang buatkerja yang sangat jitu dan rapi. Xde main cincai2 punya. Tapi kadang2 terlampau rapi sampai kerja x jalan. Lepas tu x kene deadline . Kadang2 dudk gaduh pasal benda remeh. Kalau aku suruh kerja cepat so deadline boleh ikut, atau aku bagi idea yang akan cepatkan kerja tu siket, cakap 'Malaysiantechnik'. Haah, suka hati ko la. 
• Kene bedikari. HUmph.. perkataan ''berdikari'', bunyi senang, tapi sangat susah. Kat sini, klau sakit, ko sakit sorang, klau lapar, kene cari makan sendiri, memang kene survive. Duit, urusan peribadi, masa, semua kene uruskan sendiri. Nak cari makanan bersih, halal. Susah. Lepas tu kalau nak pindah rumah nak nuat practical, nak cari rumah. Dah lah berurusan dengan orang jerman. Dalam bahasa deorang.Dalam masa sama nak kene pastikan markah stabil. Ingat senang? Ketahanan fizikal, mental sengan spritual memang kene kuat. 
• Melayan karenah pengambil kesempatan. Aku rasa di mana2 tempat pasti ada orang jenis macam ni. Ibarat lintah. Sedut darah ko. Especially orang2 arab,turki kat tempat aku belajar. Cakap besar, tapi bila nak exam, baru nak senyum kat aku sebab nak mintak nota. No way fucker!! Sekarang aku memang x kawan sangat dengan orang kawasan timur tengah sebab perangai ni. Lepas tu layan aku, macam aku x reti cakap bahasa Jerman. Sangat ironik. Bahasa jerman deorang lagi mantap, tapi fail 2 3 kali gak. Ibarat orang yang bawak kereta baru 3 kali nak mengajar orang yang dah bawak kereta 10 000 kali. Sebelum semester aku buat practical, ak memang kuat mengalah. Sejak aku buat practical dekat company, aku jadi lagi garang. Xde dah main tapis2. Kalau ada orang nak pijak aku, aku akan pastikan orang tu yang ak akan pijak dengan kekuatan 5 kali ganda. AKu lagi happy buat macam tu. Klau orang tu still x reti bahasa, aku malas layan.
• Dan banyak lagi...

Aku rasa ak benti setakat ni dulu.      

Battlefield

I have my experiences. They teach me a lot, and I choose not to flaunt my strength so that people won't manipulate me for what I have learned based on my experiences.

Life I see it as a battlefield. Sometimes you can push the enemy back with just one shot, and sometimes even if you have the upper hand, the enemy could miraculously push you back if you have a blind spot.

That is how it goes no matter where you are. There is a saying and it goes like this:

' 'The higher you go, the more people would want to pull you down'

And normally people who pull others down are filled with hatred. When they see people succeed them, they say that it is wrong. In Malaysia, political people uses this to influence low and middle income people. They are told that rich people are 'cronies'. But the thing is that, to be one, it takes intellect, steadfast, and wits. It takes a superior level of management and people skills to rise to the top.

Even people born rich lacking these skills will eventually fall.

But this post is not about politics. Its about people. There are people who stab you in the back, people who are not genuinely nice to you. People who smile but at the same time plot your downfall. Even people using sweet words to bring you down. That is human nature that I'm told to accept.

To accept is to see the human race falling down to a spiral of chaos. To simply accept is to see oppression and discrimination happening in every aspect of our lives as a norm. To blindly accept is to see a generation and the generations after it fill with insincerity and hypocrisy. Is this what we want for us? Is this what we want for our children and their children?   

To be honest, I know there are some judging me as being mellow dramatic, emotional and thinking too much. Well, they say that because they only think for themselves. Thinking that their goal in life is to have a steady income, get fucking rich, have a good sex life, and only thinking about themselves and the ones they care about.

I say open your mind, your hearts and souls before slandering others. Look into the mirror and judge yourself before judging others. Just look at each other beyond the borders of race, religion, belief or difference. I am certainly not a pluralist. I only want the world to be more caring, loving and not self centered.

A duel

A brave person knows when to sheath his sword in battle.

He stops only for a while, to reassess, recollect and restructure.

While doing so he hides in the darkness unseen by the opponent

He hides on a tree.

And waits

The foe gets impatient and loses wisdom and focus,

Thinking the warrior has fled,

He sheathed his sword,

Upon sheathing the warrior flew from the tree,

And cuts his foe's two thumbs off

So no terror could be ever  committed again

Turning Point

I'm to old for this. Should stop. Time to follow the tides of change. For if we fail to follow the tides, we will be swept away and drown.

Korban

Tonight is hari raya night. Hari raya Aidiladha. The day in which we honour one of our Prophet for willing to sacrifice his own son to God and the willingness of his son to be sacrificed.

Eversince we are young our life encircles around sacrifices eventhough we may not notice it. When a baby stops breastfeeding, it sacrifices it's own desires. When a child goes to school for the first time, they have to sacrifice their time away from their parents. When a student wants good grades, he or she has to sacrifice his or her time to study. When we want to have something or someone, we have to sacrifice our time and money.

A soldier sacrifices his own life to protect the country. Poverty stricken people sometimes sacrifice their dignity just to survive.

We are all used to sacrificing eversince we were young but how many of us could be able to sacrifice their time for the Man above. How far are we able or willing to sacrifice for God?

That my friends is the question that I believe only you could answer. So reflect for a while, the sacrifices that we have made so far and think about it...

Happy Aidiladha!!

Dignity

Dignity is an important aspect in keeping a society together. It banishes the feelings of resentment, it promotes a productive attitude and promotes a happy lifestyle free from dissatisfaction.

Dignity is in other words, 'keeping your head low eventhough how high you are'. A dignified person commands respect of everyone around him. But there are of course two extreme aspects when it comes to this topic.

One one extreme is: not having dignity at all.
The other extreme is: too much dignity, until one loses their self confidence

Not having dignity at all

In other words, people who just like to brag and don't know that their brags actually destroys others in the process. When I say destroy I mean cause resentment and sub consciously promotes unfriendly rivalry. Bragging is actually a virus in the society. When people brag, they cause others to brag, and the people infected by this 'bragging' disease will in turn affect others around them. Finally, the whole society is infected with this disease and dissatisfaction occurs.

People having this disease have a few traits in common. They are self centered, they tend to spend more than they can afford, they like to boast to others about the very small blessings they have from God. They interprete everything they hear around them as people bragging. But yet they don't know, that whatever blessings they got, it comes from God. They forget. But yet they say that their families are the holiest ones of them all. How ironic. (Paradox)

Having too much dignity

Having too much of a good thing, or perhaps anything at all is not good. We need to drink. But too much water harms your body. We need protein, but too much protein harms yourself. We need love, but too much love could prove suffocating. So much as we need dignity. But too much causes us to lose our confidence. We tend not to put any price at all on ourselves. We in turn become scared to volunteer. So frail. We who are strong see ourselves as weak. We become to accepting that we let the world become cruel.

Be in the middle

Many great people live in the middle. They eat sparingly. They don't destroy themselves. The chinese believe in a concept called yin and yang which means achieving complete balance in anything. Religion tells us to be medium in anything we do. Not to be an unbeliever and at the same time not being an extremist. So much as dignity. So I hope that all of you could benefit from my writing.

'If' by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies,
Or being hated don’t give way to hating,
And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise;

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;
If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools;

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,
And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!